Body Shaming : A Curse

Let me in, without a shout,

Let me in, I have a doubt..

There are more, many more..

Many many many more like me…

( ☝ Lyrics of a melodious song from a hit Bollywood movie )

     May be that’s how innocent souls would be thinking every-time they go through this form of harassment, called Body-Shaming. Rape, molestation, domestic violence and likes have all been talked about much by now. But this form of abuse goes almost overlooked by everyone who doesn’t know how it feels to be going through it. And some people have to face it in daily life.

     In case you are wondering what exactly is body-shaming : Well, have you ever been bullied in your life? Its just the same. Every-time you make fun of someone (be it anyone – your friend, family, co-worker, acquaintance, etc – just anyone), you body-shame them. Sometimes you realize, sometimes you don’t. Almost all of us have done it in childhood. But now, it’s high time we realized it’s bad ! It’s no less a sin than laughing at a person just because they are differently-abled. No, I don’t mean the victims of body-shaming are differently-abled. But then it’s equally bad to be laughed at, just because you are too slim or fat.

     Without disclosing details I’d like to share with you about a person – close to me – who has faced it such numerous of times till date that s/he has accepted it as a part of life now. S/he doesn’t show but you can clearly see in those eyes how hurt it makes her/him feel. I have seen it actually happening with that person, I felt furious but couldn’t help much. Reason being that person wants me to keep mum. For the sake of the bond we share, I have to keep silent. So what if later on I have seen her/him shattered or even weep behind the closed doors. So what, if this just not hurts but nearly kills the victim. The speakers will just speak and most have to listen. As if it’s their fault. The number of people suffering from this issue is countless these days. People say and leave. Their words keep hurting the targets later.

     Sometimes body-shaming comes disguised as the mocker ‘concerned’ too. In this case, they won’t make fun of the victim. Rather they will sound like : “Oh! Look at you. What has happened to you dear one? Why have you lost (or put on) weight so much. Do something about it.” I mean why do we do this? I think everyone is well aware of his or her own flaws already. Why remind them? Why not rather just accept them the way they are and love them just the same? Or may be, wait to be asked if the victim is looking for advice.

    And yes, body-shaming is not done to just people too slim or too fat. It comes in various other forms as well. Be it for height, complexion or anything like that. I know we all have views about people around us. But why not rather keep it to self? Or if really needed, put it in a nice polite way without hurting the sentiments of the other person. And then it should remain just between you two.

     I myself have been through few instances where I was ‘suggested’ to shed off some weight because I looked fat. And when I asked the other person to stop worrying about me and rather work on improving their own looks, they were like ‘mai toh jaisa/jaisi hun waisa/waisi hun hi (I am the way I am), you look good, you can look better’. I mean, what the hell? Disgusting, isn’t it? If you have that instinct to give such suggestion to someone, you got to learn to take it back too. Instead of paying heed to what needs to be done by others, why not work on yourself? As I said earlier too, everyone is well aware of his or her own strengths and weaknesses. You don’t need to remind. I have seen some people shed a lot of weight only because people used to tease them. I don’t support this though. Do this, if you really want to do it for yourself. But in case you are happy in your own skin, love yourself just the way you are, then stay like that only. Remember, you are beautiful !

     It’s high time we paid attention to this social issue. Let’s do something about it. What the least we can do is refrain ‘ourselves’ from making such comments on the way someone looks, which can leave them hurt or inferior. If we try a bit more, we can ask others to stop doing this too. Every-time we see it happening, we take a step which helps the victim feel supported. At least, stop bullying!

     Let’s unite against this curse and make our surroundings a better place to live in 🙂